in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
