I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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