And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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