I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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