it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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