apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
