Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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