I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
