I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize