this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
