He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
