I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Four minutes until I can fart!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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