JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
