It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Come see our sink grown plant.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
