is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
