then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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