Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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