Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
