Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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