Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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