He kissed a someone with a penis
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
