his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
