Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
