You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
