It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
