i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
