Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize