I just made out with a guy for $7.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
