u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
