hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
