My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
