I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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