No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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