You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
