so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize