Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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