Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
