Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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