Having a random hookup so left but love u
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
