we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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