I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
