Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
