anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
