my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
