HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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