After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
