I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
