Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
