Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
