Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
