My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
