He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
