you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
