i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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