the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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