Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
it's like iHOP with fire
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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