My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
