I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
this boner is exhausting
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
