How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
