My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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