try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
