better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
i think we sleep fucked last night...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
