the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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